Everyone knows that adversity and heartaches are as much a part of life as breathing itself. All of us have had moments in life when the good days seem like a distant memory and the bad days cause a struggle that is nearly unbearable. If you claim belief in Jesus and have confidence in his power, you can take comfort and draw strength from him. Many times, during these dark phases of life, questions fill our minds; “why me?, why now?” or “what did I do to cause this?” Other times we find ourselves hard at work seeking the Lord’s will and trying diligently to carry it out with obedience. During these times, the pain is not necessarily felt in the process we go through to do what he asks but is very closely tied to the blessings that result from that obedience.
I recall a time when I was trying really hard to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit by supporting a close friend with her decision to move out of state. She had endured many difficult times in her life before I met her one year ago. She had a deeply compassionate heart and a true love for God but the wounds from her past had yet to heal. As I was getting to know her, I felt a connection that I believed was created by God and placed there to allow me to minister to her. Month after month went by until, despite her fear of allowing anyone near, we became close friends. An opportunity arose for her to move in with her brother, reduce her debt and even go back to school. In order to take advantage of this opportunity, she would have to uproot her life and move hundreds of miles away. I prayed that God would provide her with healing, protection and provision and I knew that this move was part of his plan.
When she told me of her plan to move, I was filled with mixed emotions. I knew it would be the beginning to a positively changed life for her. I also knew that I ran the very real risk losing contact with a friend that I had grown to love like a sister. So, when I thought about the direction both of ours lives were going and God’s will for each of us, I found myself asking ‘why’. Not so much why she had to move. I knew he wanted to answer my prayers to prosper her and this was his way of doing it. I asked ‘why’ for more personal reasons. I knew God had called me to show love, open my heart and life as well as speak the word he gives for specific people and do for them according to his leading. The blessings I see in others as well as my own life are incredible. Seeing God set a person up on his foundation and strengthening them to stand on their own and then fly is awesome! To be allowed to be any part of that is truly overwhelming.
Now, with that said, my question is, “Lord, why does following your will and gaining so much blessing have to be tied to so much pain-pain that almost takes my breath away at times”. He gently reminded me, “You can’t have one without the other. Vulnerability is necessary to connect at such a deep level, but it also allows for pain. If you take the vulnerability away, you also take away the ability to ever do what I have called you to do.” It was at that moment that I understood the term ‘bittersweet’. Even though I still felt the intense sadness of loss, I also felt the Lord pouring his love on me and through me. I knew that he had both of us in his keeping. I didn’t know what the future would bring but I knew that the Lord has an abundance of blessings set aside for each of us. I realized that the key to his blessings wasn’t necessarily in getting to a particular destination in life but in following God’s will and guidance throughout the journey to that destination.
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