Unlikely Vessel

                          

At fifty years old John found himself looking back on his life with much regret and guilt. Memories of the pain and destruction that resulted from his bad decisions opened the flood gates of shame that overwhelmed him with such great anguish that he began to spiral into a deep depression. He didn’t mean to lie. It just sort of happened and the next thing he knew, this deception took on a life of it’s own while forever changing his-and hers! For years even after the affair the lies continued and wounds grew deeper. Over the years he tried to “make it up to her” by working hard and providing a good life for her and their new baby girl. The only problem was that he could never work hard enough to cancel out all the guilt he felt for all the pain he caused. Living under the weight of his guilt and shame for so many years took a toll on his emotional health and deep depression began to consume his life.
                                 

Depression can manifest itself in several different ways but the ultimate result is the same-total destruction! In John’s case, anger was the main symptom. Outward appearances would make it seem as if he was mad at the world; being easily provokes to outbursts of hostility. Yet, inwardly the anger grew only toward himself and how he could have done such hurtful things against those that he loved so much-his wife and daughter! That inward anger was slowly eating away at his soul, leaving his emotional health very susceptible to satan’s attacks-and attack he did!
                                  

Protected

                                         

We all do it; dream that is. If you’re like me, by the time you are fully awake to recall a dream, it has vanished like a puff of smoke. Only a small handful of these nocturnal ‘mini-epics’ have I been able to retain in vivid detail. I believe God uses dreams to speak to us at times to avoid the distraction of our conscious minds and allow us to retrieve these images as well as the messages they convey. In them, he can teach life lessons, relieve fears, reveal future events if necessary or even give direction and purpose for ones life.

I remember one such dream. At the time, even though I didn’t realize the significance of its message until many weeks later, when I woke that morning, I definitely knew there was one! What was the dream you ask? Well, I was alone at home and all was quite and calm. Then, I heard a very loud ‘train-like’ roar that seemed to engulf the entire house. Without thought, I immediately went to the garage and raised the door to witness a huge black cloud that was violently ripping apart everything in its path. With its twisting and turning, it gained strength as it continued to approach my home. Considering the obvious danger this scene presented, it would seem logical at this point to panic and run for whatever shelter I could find. Yet, that was not the case. Instead, I stood unmoved in an indescribable state of calm watching the storm as it devoured everything in sight and continued to draw closer. Then, as if on cue, the violently spinning black mass stopped its progression at the edge of the yard and tracked its course very precisely along the borders of my property without touching even one blade of grass. The raging dark cloud retraced its path, disintegrated into a vapor and then disappeared as if it never existed. The devastation it left proved otherwise. Mine was the only residence that remained untouched by the destruction. When I awoke from this graphic display, I retained a sense of peace along with wonder and intrigue for its possible message. For some time, I continued to ponder on the significance of the dream I was given.
                             
Several days passed before God gave confirmation of his message. I was having a conversation with a friend as she said, seemingly out of the blue, “God will help you stand and give a sense of calm in the eye of the storm”. I hadn’t yet spoken to her of the dream, therefore she had no way to know how God was using her words to provide evidence of his personal message to me only days earlier.

The Curtain

                      

What do you do when you know a friend is hurting? You hurt too, don’t you? You also want to do whatever you can to ease the hurt, to help them through that difficult time. We’ve all been in that type of situation more than once yet at times it is still tough to know the right thing to do. I recall one particular occasion when I faced just such a dilemma. The answer I was given caught me blind sighted and changed both are lives.

How?

My friend had a deep heartache that she tried to hide. I knew something was wrong but was unsure what it was or how I could help. One night as we were talking, she finally opened up to me and told me that of all the struggles she faced or losses she had endured, the most hurtful one was the lost relationship between her and Jesus. She told me of how close she used to be and how she would worship and study the Bible but because of past mistakes she didn’t feel she could do either, which caused her to feel very distant. As I listened, my mind raced to find the right words to say that would comfort her and give her the answer she needed. I told her that God loved her and would always want a relationship with her but as I spoke I realized I was saying things that I hadn’t spoken of or even allowed myself to think of in quite a while. Feeling as if I were loosing this battle to help my friend, I instinctively did something I hadn’t done in a long time. I prayed! I said, “Lord, what can I do to help her be close to you again?” I immediately heard, “How can you help her be close to me when you’re not close to me?” Talk about something that gets your attention! That was truth hitting me square in the face!

Humbled

Then, in my mind’s eye, I saw a curtain being pulled back to reveal all the things that I allowed myself to participate in that was not pleasing to God. Things in my life that pulled me away from him and things that took my time and focus prohibiting me from hearing his voice were all set center stage for me to acknowledge as that curtain was raised. Like one of the final acts of a dark Elizabethan play, my life as I was living it was in plan view for me to see as God saw it. In that moment, God allowed me to feel a fraction of the sorrow he felt as he watched me pursue this life of sin, emptiness and distance from him. As tears streamed down my face, I prayed to God that he would forgive me for the way I was living and for neglecting my own relationship with him. I asked him to teach me how to draw close and stay close to him.

God Ordained Friendship

                    

The friendship that exists between those brought together by God is truly a miracle. Many people in this world do not understand such a bond. To anyone who has not seen it or experienced it for him or herself, the temptation to claim that it isn’t real would be hard to resist. Those of us who have received the grace of God to be blessed with such a friendship know how real it is. Relationships that are ordained by God with his guidance and strength are true blessings that enrich our lives.

David before he became king

Recently I have been studying the story of David in the Bible. I have been enthralled by the story of David and Jonathan because of their special bond. The Bible says in 1 Samuel 18:1, “…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul (NKJV)”. God worked through this friendship to position David to be king and carry out his will for the benefit of his people. Both realized that their friendship was a God given bond and part of a larger plan for the fulfillment of the Lord’s will. Considering all the obstacles that faced this relationship, expressly the murderous attempts of the current king on David’s life (which happened to be Jonathan’s father) the only explanation for how this close bond was forged and how it flourished was that it was God ordained.

Noticing this divine intervention in both their lives, each realized the impact of this special gift from God. This is expressed in the words of Jonathan when he said, “Go in peace! The two of us have vowed friendship in God’s name, saying God will be the bond between you and me and between my children and your children forever (1 Samuel 20:42, The Message)! They both understood the strength gained by two people coming into agreement with God as the Bible says, “a strand of three is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12)”.

Eyes of Love

                    

One day at work I came across a coworker who was going through a difficult time in her life and appeared to be very sad, quite, preoccupied and withdrawn. Her eyes were downcast and seemed to be void of light. Though she didn’t speak much, she communicated volumes to reflect her mood and emotions. I couldn’t help but notice that her eyes could not contain the message, which she refused to speak with her mouth. This experience reminded me of a proverb about how the eyes are the windows of the soul. I began to think of the truth in that statement and how much is revealed of a person through the eyes. The Bible says that the eye is the light of the body (Luke 11:34). This can explain how we are able to share our feelings or possibly even our personal convictions without speaking a word. Sadness, pain, joy, fear, anger, love and hatred as well many other emotions or even ones mental state can be seen through the eyes of that person. This shows how the mind and body affect each other and how hiding ones true feelings or even personal character may prove difficult at times.

Eyes: Windows of the Soul

Have you ever spoken with someone who had expressive eyes? As they recall a story, did their eyes seem to accentuate the very point being made by the verbal communication given? Imagine living during Jesus time on earth as one of his disciples, privileged to personally observe him speaking, teaching, and healing. What message would his eyes portray to you? Envision being able to have a conversation with him as the disciples did. Would you see passion in his eyes to strengthen the reality of his message and give insight to its true meaning of power and potential to change lives? I think you would. The Bible continually speaks of the love of Christ. The book of John is considered the book of love because it describes the love Jesus had for all mankind. How can a heart so full of love and compassion refrain from flooding the eyes with a reflection of the same?

The Eyes of Jesus

To see the expressive eyes of Jesus, you merely have to choose one of the many compassionate stories in the Bible and step into the shoes of the main character. Take, for instance, the story of the widow’s only son. When Jesus saw the widow in pain, he had compassion on her and told her not to cry. Because he had love for her and felt her sorrow, he touched her sons’ coffin and gave the command that brought him back to life (Luke 7:13-15). Imagine being that mother looking into the eyes of the one who gave you the gift of your son-alive! Another report tells how he responded when confronted with the death of Lazarus. Jesus saw his sister weeping, was troubled in spirit and wept also as he called Lazarus to come forth-raising him from the dead (John 11: 32-44). How his eyes must have danced with joy to be able to give such restoration to these people whom he loved so much. He was fully committed to sharing in the lives of those around him and openly expressed his love and compassion for them.

His Ministry

His entire earthly existence was dedicated to love, life and giving both to others. How could anyone ever find any wrong in that? The religion scholars did and wanted him stopped at any cost. They decided that the only price sufficient was to forever extinguish the eyes that sparked life to the hopeless and shed light in dark places. The eyes and life of Jesus became the payment they required (John 19:7). The life that lived for others and began on earth for the purpose of bringing hope to the world was not welcomed and suffered for it. The suffering was brutal and did not only encompass physical beating but scorning, ridicule and persecution from Roman soldiers (Luke 22:63-67). While enduring this torture, he also faced abandonment of those he considered to be his closest companions-the result was isolation and loneliness. During each ordeal he presented love and compassion that, I believe, could not be contained by his eyes. This expression of intense love for us and for God’s will was evident in his eyes even though his flesh caused him to feel every hurt just as deeply as any one of us would. How do I know? The Bible states that when Jesus was taken to the high priest house, Peter (one of the twelve disciples) being close enough to see him, denied Jesus to the crowd outside. Immediately, Peter was convicted with one look from the loving eyes of Jesus and he began to sob from the grief of his betrayal (Luke 22:54-62).

The Trial

During the arrest and trial of Jesus, the ones who received the benefit of his love the most were the same ones who were demanding his crucifixion while the soldiers took joy in mocking and beating him (Luke 23:23). Throughout it all he never spoke a word in retaliation and continued to regard them with love. This love was apparent even amid the excruciating pain of hanging on a cross by nails driven through the hands and feet. First, when Jesus gazed down at his mother with eyes of compassion as he said to his disciple John to care for her as his own (John 19:26-27). Then, as he saw past his own suffering and considered with mercy the ones directly responsible for his anguish as he prayed on their behalf for God’s forgiveness (Luke 24:34). It seems that anyone would find it nearly impossible to even imagine looking at someone who caused so much misery with love or mercy-but Jesus did. Love continued to radiate from his presence when he turned eyes full of grace to the thief on the cross next to him as he reassured the man of his eternity (Luke 24:39-43).

What He Can Do For You

He still restores us today with mercy and grace that flows through eyes of love, which he reveals to all who have the desire to know him. He blesses that desire with the ability to envision his eyes covered in blood and swollen but full of love as he hung on the cross for the very ones that put him there-all of humanity. The eyes that wept with compassion, convicted with truth, healed with grace and renewed with hope. Those eyes can do the same today if we permit ourselves to be drawn as so many were all those years ago. So allow yourself to be drawn to the eyes of hope, truth, grace and mercy-the eyes of love.


copyright Morning Glories 2009

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