At fifty years old John found himself looking back on his life with much regret and guilt. Memories of the pain and destruction that resulted from his bad decisions opened the flood gates of shame that overwhelmed him with such great anguish that he began to spiral into a deep depression. He didn’t mean to lie. It just sort of happened and the next thing he knew, this deception took on a life of it’s own while forever changing his-and hers! For years even after the affair the lies continued and wounds grew deeper. Over the years he tried to “make it up to her” by working hard and providing a good life for her and their new baby girl. The only problem was that he could never work hard enough to cancel out all the guilt he felt for all the pain he caused. Living under the weight of his guilt and shame for so many years took a toll on his emotional health and deep depression began to consume his life.
Depression can manifest itself in several different ways but the ultimate result is the same-total destruction! In John’s case, anger was the main symptom. Outward appearances would make it seem as if he was mad at the world; being easily provokes to outbursts of hostility. Yet, inwardly the anger grew only toward himself and how he could have done such hurtful things against those that he loved so much-his wife and daughter! That inward anger was slowly eating away at his soul, leaving his emotional health very susceptible to satan’s attacks-and attack he did!
